To: 0xdeadbeef@petting-zoo.net Subject: God Bless Microsoft From: gkm@petting-zoo.net (glen mccready) Date: Wed, 10 Jan 2001 09:31:57 -0800 Forwarded-by: Rob Windsor [ Posted on the 1st-gen RX-7 mailing list, hosted by yours truly. -- Rob ] From: George Samuels I took my most assuredly +not+ smog-free '79 RX-7 to the emissions station. I had waited for a cold, snowy day in the hopes that cold temperatures and high humidity would lean out the mixture enough to let it squeak through. While driving out to the testing station, I mentally rehearsed my plea for clemency, should I fail: (Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is transparently clear to any reasonable and intelligent man...or woman!...that without a motor, there can be no emissions. Therefore, ipso facto and forsooth, putting a new motor in the car is +clearly+ emissions-related. Thus, under that exemption granted by the lawmakers, in their infinite wisdom and mercy, my clent has had more than $200 worth of emissions-related work within the required 120-day period and should be declared "in compliance" with the law. You must, therefore, find him not-guilty.) I pulled into the testing bay and produced all the required paperwork (including that paperwork with Presidents' pictures on it). I was then treated to something very like Larry, Moe and Curly attempting to bring everything into order. It was clear that the recruiting efforts of the company doing the testing had suffered under a full-employment economy. Finally, all was in place, and the three gape-mouthed "technicians" gazed in wonder and consternation at their computer screen as a seemingly infinite series of error messages was offered up by Windoze. A fourth technician who liked RX-7s carried on a conversation with me about the differences between the generations. After the third time re-booting the system, the dazed trio turned to him in helpless confusion. He looked at the computer, then at me and said, "You have been unable to complete the test due to no fault of your own." I sensed a spell or canon being invoked. We agreed that I had been waiting "at least" 20 minutes (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). I was then administratively pronounced to be "in compliance" and wished Godspeed for the next two years. As the cherry on my sundae, my testing fee was returned. Friends and neighbors, it doesn't get any better than this. Like many of the techno-nerds on this list, I often castigate Windoze for its well-documented faults. However, for today (+just+ for today), I must say, fervently and with all due gratitude, "God Bless Microsoft!"